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[30 Oct 2005|05:13am] |
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I've stopped updating. Meh.
I don't really see any point in LJ anymore. Looking back, it seems it created more problems than it solved. So I'm probably gonna stop updating for a while, possibly forever. Or at least until I can actually find something important to say. >_> It's not like anything good is going into it anyway, right? If I really had any sort of earth-shattering news to tell any of you, I'd either be calling, e-mailing or IMing you... So this journal has officially become useless. Besides, even when I DID have stuff to tell you guys, I hardly updated anyway, lol.
Love ya all. ^^ Bye-bye.
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[04 Sep 2005|04:51am] |
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So I'm having a moment where I need to make a decision. And I don't really know what to do. And it's making me physically sick, because it's making me hella-stressed.
I wanna talk to somebody, but I dunno who to talk to. I don't even know if I should talk to anyone at all.
...I think I'm gonna throw up. :\
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| Latest news from Asa... |
[01 Sep 2005|12:15pm] |
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1.) Grandma is back in the hospital for a few days because she's building up fluid in her abdomen for unknown reasons, and her breathing and heartbeat sound pretty bad.
2.) I'm taking Art History at NOVA, and Lynn's in my class. Lynn has been a real life-saver, because without her, I would never get my homework done. Thanks Lynn!
3.) Constant errand running and taking care of my grandparents has kept me from getting in touch with Kami. Kami, if you haven't left for Japan yet, let me know. ; ;
4.) Charlie ignores me a lot for video games (WoW, mostly), and even forgot to pick me up from school last night because he was so engrossed in his game. Thanks a lot, Charlie. ~_~
And that's the basics of what happened over the past week or so.
Oh, I forgot to mention. Last night (or this morning, whatever) I had a dream that Lynn was driving in my uncle's station wagon with my mom in the front seat, and me and my dad in the back. Lynn was driving up this hill and stopped too far ahead of the stoplight line. I told her to back up, and we ended up driving down the hill in reverse, yelling at Lynn to hit the brakes, which somehow she kept missing (all the while, she was hitting the gas instead >.>). We almost hit several cars while careening down this incredibly long stretch of downhill road, and when I noticed we were about to hit a bunch of cars that had been in a wreck, I squeezed between the front seats and hit the breaks myself, stopping just inches away from the car wreck behind us. And I woke up.
...Lynn, I love you and all, but I'm not going to go driving with you any time soon. XD
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| So it's been two months now... |
[12 Aug 2005|12:27pm] |
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Not too much has happened... Well, maybe a lot has happened, I just can't remember half of it. Charlie bought a car - a silver Honda Civic LX. It's actually pretty nice, even though it's used. We found a gaming store right next to the mall, so we have a place to buy cards and run our role-playing game if we ever decide to start it up. My grandparents have somewhat stablized... My grandmother kinda just stares off into space most of the time and doesn't really talk, and my grandfather fell again when he went outside without telling anyone. Ugh, he's so stubborn. But at least they're okay right now. I was hanging out with my cousins a lot a few weeks ago, but lately I've been staying home and attempting to clean the house. And if you knew how messy my house was, you'd understand why it's overwhelmingly tiring. XD I also registered for classes at NOVA, but I can't pay for them until next week, so they got dropped. ;_; Hopefully I'll still be able to register next week...though working really doesn't sound so bad, either. Charlie even bought me a new tablet so that I can start drawing again, which I have been doing lately. Inspiration is still a bit hard to come by, but it's slowly beginning to come back to me. I even thought about starting a web comic, but after Lynn showed me something on a lady stealing peoples' art and identities, my enthusiasm for doing so has disappeared. I'm scared to post any of my stuff online now. >_< Maybe when I have the money to do it, I'll copyright all my stuff, then I won't be so paranoid.
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| Yeah... this is craptacular. |
[19 Jun 2005|02:08pm] |
Okay, so I'm not coming back to CA. I'm staying in VA for a while to go to school, and Charlie's coming with me. While that makes me happy in some ways, it also makes me sad. I really like being here, and I'm kinda sad that I'm leaving.
Gonna have a lot of crap to deal with when I get there... Getting ready for school, finding another job, finding an apartment, taking care of my grandpa, as well as my grandma... Yeah, my grandma's sick now, too. Realistically, they're not going to be around much longer, and I'm probably gonna have to attend a double funeral. My mom might have to go through surgery soon, and my parents are tight on money, and it's my fault. I'm frikkin' stressed... It's like the sky is falling. Y'know that saying, "When it rains, it pours"? It's raining f-ing cats and dogs right now. Too much shit happening all at once. Oh, and Thanee didn't get his DVDs in the mail, which means they're probably f-ing lost. I'll have to replace them if that's the case... Oh well. Just another thing to add to the list of things to do.
I need some thinking time.
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| Man, I'm stressed. |
[02 Jun 2005|08:55pm] |
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Cowboy Bebop ending theme |
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Okay, so when have I not been stressed? I mean, really. Have you ever heard me say I'm doing well or anything? No. Thinking about this, I've come to this conclusion: my life sucks.
About... oh, I think it was a week or so ago... My father called me before work with some bad news. A few days before, my grandfather had gotten up for who knows what reason, and my aunt and uncle weren't there because they were at work. Being as old and feeble as he is, he fell on the table in front of him and broke his ribs. While that sounds pretty bad by itself, you have to keep in mind that he's also 92 years old, has cancer, and has a lot of trouble breathing because he has a very mild form of pneumonia. It's very dangerous for old people to break bones, because their bodies just can't handle repairing itself anymore. Add to that the fact that my grandfather is quite sick, and it's a recipie for disaster. I really can't describe how upset I am... It's been affecting my work performance and my relationship a bit. I really think I may have to quit Disney, because I'm just not doing so well right now. I don't want to, but... well, I'd rather quit than be fired, y'know?
Anyway... I'm gonna be home for about a week in July to see my grandpa. I think I'm coming home on the 7th. I'd really like to see you guys before I go back to CA... so if you guys could arrange a day to meet (the 9th is off limits due to a VERY large family reunion), that'd be great.
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| Charlie says Star Wars sucked. |
[21 May 2005|01:40am] |
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DDR soundtrack, "Dam Dariram" |
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I liked it though. Maybe some of the moments were a bit cheesy, or just downright retarded ( Slight spoiler here, don't read if you don't want to know. ) but even still, it wasn't the most horrible movie ever. Maybe I just have bad taste.
So anyway. I wanted to finish what I was writing the other day... but now that I'm sitting here and thinking about it all, I don't know if I'm ready to talk about it. Maybe I am, but just can't think of what to say. Right now, remembering it all just stresses me out and stuff... It's got me depressed (no surprise there, heh), and so I'm wondering if maybe that's why I keep getting angry and irritable. And I can feel that little monster in the back of my mind trying to claw its way back out. So hard to let go and be happy and not worry...
Sometimes I really hate myself.
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| Something you already know, and something you don't. |
[19 May 2005|12:46pm] |
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Poets of the Fall, "Sleep" |
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So, how's it going, people? Yeah, I know. I don't update enough. Sorry. I'll try harder from now on, I promise.
Well, for starters... We had to put down Hachabunny not too long ago. He got a tumor on his throat, and just looked so miserable that Charlie and I couldn't take him back home without feeling guilty. He was perfectly fine the week before, hopping around in his cage, and jumping up on top of his bunny house to get treats all the time... He'd always shove his nose through the bars of his cage, sniffing excitedly whenever I'd shake his treat bag. I miss him a lot... The living room seems empty now without his cage in the corner by the tv.
...I think I need a subject change.
Did I ever tell you that I hate working? I'm sure we'd all rather just sit on our butts at home and veg out in front of the television instead of go to work, but unfortunately for us, we can't. That's... well, common knowledge. As a species, we can be pretty damn lazy. I know I am.
I remember when I first started working, I was really excited. I was actually doing something with my life, instead of playing video games all day and doing a lot of nothing. But now, the excitement has died down, replaced with apathy and a great deal of annoyance. I don't even do my job that well anymore. Instead, I'm doing stock team stuff, like fixing shelves and replacing merchandise. I really should be on the stock team... Even if it's busy work, I wouldn't mind. I'd rather be doing something than standing around and saying hi to people I don't know. But, sadly, my bad habit of procrastination has come back to haunt me, and I've been late to work about 7 times now. Oh, and I called out of work, too. (My bunny was put to sleep that day... I really didn't feel like working after that.) The way Disney works is that every time you're late, or call out of work, you accumulate a certain number of points. Being late gets you 1.5 points, while calling out, whether sick or personal, nets you 3. So, adding that up here, it comes out to 16.5 points. The most you can have is 25 in one year. I've only been working for about 2 months. So, already I'm in hot water. I've gotten my verbal warning for the year. My next infraction will get me written up. If anything else happens, I get suspended for 3 days, and after that, I'm terminated. So I really need to try harder. I can't join the stock team, either, because I just got a verbal warning. And I'm not allowed to have any of those for 6 months in order to join. So I have to wait for half a year before I can get away from the people. I really need to find another job.
There was a lot more I wanted to talk about, but that will have to wait. Right now, I have some chores to do, so I'll update again later.
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[24 Apr 2005|03:02am] |
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Charlie's snoring |
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So, here I am, sitting at the computer at 3 am. Why? Because there are things I want to say, cuz I feel like I'll have an emotional breakdown if I don't.
I like this place. I enjoy being here. Working at Disney isn't all that bad, the weather is nice in this area, and I'm close to a lot of interesting places. But I can't go to school, can't see my family or my friends, and lately I've noticed that I get irritated a lot. I don't really know why. It's hard to describe how I feel. I want to talk about it with Charlie, but it's hard to say it in words. Typing out all my frustrations is easy. Face to face talking isn't. That bothers me a lot. I guess I'm afraid of what will happen if I decide to say something. I don't want to say the wrong thing, trying to explain how I feel only to have him misunderstand and get upset.
I've been thinking about my life a lot lately... wondering how things would be if I had done everything differently. I didn't think I'd be doing what I'm doing now 3 years ago. I figured I'd be in college, maybe have a part-time job somewhere, and still be living with my parents. I'm not saying my situation right now is bad or anything, just that it's a lot different from what I had imagined so long ago. Though I have to admit, I wish I was in school right now.
Man, I'm tired... There was more I wanted to say, but I'm falling asleep in my chair. I guess I'll have to update again later.
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| I didn't have to work this week. And it's awesome. |
[06 Apr 2005|06:32pm] |
I enjoy my job a lot. I also hate it just as much as I enjoy it. XD So one week of freedom is gladly welcomed. Too bad I'm sick and can't go anywhere. >.<
I kinda stopped playing FFXI. I only pop on every now and then to see if my cousin's online and to talk to my friends. Now I play World of Warcraft most of the time. I like how I can do stuff by myself and not have to interact with other people to level up. That means I can be as much of a recluse as I want to be. XD Kinda like real life, eh?
Yeah, so anyway... That's as interesting as it gets over here lately. Basically, I'm sick, play games all day, and play with candles. ~_~ Oh, and Charlie keeps mistaking me for a blueberry pancake and bites me. XD Oh, did I mention I play D&D now, too?
...damn, I miss you guys. :(
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| So, um... Yeah. |
[22 Mar 2005|04:20pm] |
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Poets of the Fall, "Stay" |
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Hi. You might not remember me, but my name's Brittany. Nice to meet you. Again. XD
Okay, enough of the bull. I seriously haven't updated in a while. And, of course, as usual, a lot of stuff has happened since the last time I posted.
I just don't remember all of it. >.>
I think the biggest thing that's happened is that I'm working. Can you guess where? I'll give you a hint: the mascot wears red shorts and yellow shoes.
That's right.
I work at DISNEYLAND! @_@
Charlie's cousin has been working there for over a year, and says it sucks. I've only been working for about... oh, maybe a week. But I like it. The people are nice. Of course, I'd much rather stay in my little corner of the apartment and play video games all day. But I can't, so now I just work at a fun place. :) In 3 months I can start getting people in for free. Anybody wanna come visit? >.>
I'm kinda thinking about not playing FFXI anymore. But now my cousin's playing it. Hmm. Lineage II looks really nice, but I only have one computer. Meh, I guess I'll be sticking with FFXI after all.
Okay, so maybe nothing much has happened after all. I'm pretty sure there's a bunch of other stuff I could tell you about, but I can't come up with anything off the top of my head. You guys need to pester me to update more. Otherwise I'm not gonna post for another 3 months and I'm gonna forget to tell you about important things. >.<
...stupid cold. ~_~ *sneezes and sniffles*
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| Hm. |
[23 Dec 2004|05:47pm] |
Wow, it's already the 23... wtf?
I feel kinda weird not being at home for Christmas. Like I'm missing something. I wanna see my cousin. I guess I'll be making a lot of calls this weekend.
Today I'll be turning in an application to work at an electronics store. I know you all know how lazy I am (lol), and maybe it seems a bit odd to hear me say that I want to work, but I'd really like to find a job. I probably won't have much money after helping to pay bills and stuff, but at least I'll have a little bit to spend on myself, y'know? Hopefully they'll be able to change my schedule later on when I start taking classes... Gah, I have to pay $140-something per credit. That sucks ass. I guess if I get the job, I'll just be saving money for a few months. ~_~
I'm feeling irritable right now, cuz people in FFXI piss me off. Not to mention I'm PMSing. lmao.
...Damn, I can't remember what else I was gonna say...
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| I think I've been playing too much Final Fantasy XI... |
[20 Dec 2004|08:31am] |
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I had a really weird dream last night. Actually, it was pretty scary. And something even more scary happened when I woke up the first time.
Charlie and I were running around through this dungeon-type area. Strangely, the place looked very similar to an area in the game called Garlaige Citadel. There were also lots of undead monsters and such that we kept avoiding throughout our trip.
One thing that really stuck out in my mind was that we kept going up all these stairs... It was hazy, and I couldn't really make out which way we went, but it seemed to twist in all these different directions. I didn't pay much attention to it though, since I was more focused on avoiding the monsters.
We went down a little, and ended up in this underground waterway passage. A bunch of our friends were there waiting for us, and we decided to take a breather. A dog demon spawned next to us, then another. We stared at them, commenting on how scary they looked. Then a voice sounded around us, saying "If you think that's scary, look around the corner behind you." Of course, I'm the one closest to the corner, and I'm also stupidly curious. lol. It also seemed like I was the only one who heard the voice, since everyone else just kept talking among themselves. So I went to go look and see what was there.
I'm surprised I didn't scream. There was this REALLY SCARY LOOKING wraith-like monster down the hallway, floating in the air and covered in a tattered black cloak. I guess you could say it looked like the grim reaper, but ... I don't know, this just seemed so much creepier.
It saw me and started to come towards me. I immediately ran back to my group, and buried my face in Charlie's chest, whimpering. He didn't understand what was going on until he saw it come around the corner, at which he said "OH SHIT..." then lowered his head so as not to look at it. He instructed everyone else to do the same. I don't really understand why this kept it from finding us, but hey... whatever works, works, right? I think the most terrifying part was when I felt it stop moving behind me. My back felt sooooo cold, and I could feel the fabric brushing against me.
That's when I woke up. I cracked open an eye and sighed, glad that I was just dreaming. But when I looked over at the wall, I saw a shadow being cast on the wall where light should have been. Then it faded away. I was freaked out, but instead of waking Charlie up, I just closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep.
The next dream was very similar. But this time, things were more clear, and there were no monsters to avoid on our trip through the place. Also, we started out as a full party, instead of just me and Charlie looking for everyone else. I remember as we were going up the stairs this time, I thought to myself "So THIS is the way we went..." Instead of going down the corridor we went before, we kept going up, and eventually got to this small room while the stairs continued upward. We went inside, and found a bed and mirror with some chairs and stuff. We decided to stay the night.
While everyone was getting ready for bed, I thought about how I saw the ghost in my last dream, and wondered if I'd see it again if I went outside. So I opened the door, and before I could take three steps out, I saw it standing by the stairs. And again, it saw me and started to approach me. I ran back into the room, seeing it behind me in the mirror right before I closed the door, and told everyone it was coming. Everyone did the same 'close your eyes and it can't see you' routine, and I hopped on the bed and did the same. Again, I felt it stop right behind me, but this time, I opened my eyes and looked at it.
I was shocked.
A man's face was five inches away from mine. He looked like one of those guys from the 50's... y'know, with the greased, slicked back hair and the "I'm so cool" grin on his lips. Y'know what I did?
I socked him in the face, nice and hard. >.<
I woke up again, but this time from the alarm clock. And I thought to myself, "...What kind of stupid dream was that?"
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| Christmas is coming. o_O |
[14 Dec 2004|02:17pm] |
I got you guys some toys from GenCon. Now I just need your addresses so I can send it to you.
And what do you want for Christmas? Ionno what to get, so gimme an idea. Just keep in mind that I don't really have a lot of money, lol.
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| Kami finds some pretty cool quizzes. |
[08 Dec 2004|08:16pm] |
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My devious laughter |
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| You scored as Chaotic Evil. A Chaotic Evil person is destructive to the extreme. These people put no value in life or beauty, taking pleasure in destroying both what is good and what is ordered. They have little to no respect for laws and the rights of others. Revenge is a powerful motivator for these people.
What is your Alignment?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| I've been meaning to update. No, really, I have! |
[08 Dec 2004|02:11pm] |
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Remembering Charlie singing the Zelda theme as a bard... XD |
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This past weekend was great. At first, I really didn't think we'd be going to GenCon, but after our friends Esther and Alyr came to stay with us, Charlie coudln't resrist pulling some money for the convention. (Yay moocow!) I had so much fun!
The convention was from Thursday to Sunday, but Esther and Alyr didn't come until Friday. We drove to the convention center and got badges for Friday and Saturday, then began our tour of the floor. I was a bit surprised at how empty it seemed; after seeing pictures from Otakon and Katsucon, I guess I got the idea in my head that all cons were large and fully packed. Esther explained that this convention was relatively new, and therefore wasn't very big yet. Even still, they had a lot of really neat stuff, and I ended up buying everyone some souvenirs. ^^
The first day wasn't really evenful. Charlie and Alyr went to play L5R tournaments while Esther and I walked around picking up all the promotional stuff, as well as taking in some of the weird costumes people decided to wear. The second day was even better than the first. Charlie and Alyr entered in the Storyline Tournament for L5R while Esther and I sat at a separate table (I got suckered into watching everyone's stuff, including Charlie's friends, lol). Eventually, Charlie got hungry and dropped out of the tournament (the tournament started in the morning and continued well into the afternoon, without any breaks @_@). So we got some lunch, then decided to wander around and buy things. Eventually, Esther and I started painting mini figurines while Charlie went back to the tournament tables to see how Alyr was doing. It took a long time for me to finish, and I'm not satisfied with how it turned out, since I got rushed at the end, but I still like it.
Alyr was still playing in the tournament (Mind you, it was 6 when they closed the painting booth, and the tournament started at 10 that morning...), so we decided to take part in True Dungeon. If you play D&D, I'm sure you know what True Dungeon is. If you don't play D&D, it's basically D&D, but with real props and an actual dungeon to wander around in. This was the best event I participated in that weekend. Esther, Charlie and I were supposed to watch a movie before we entered, but we got rushed into a group and didn't know what was going on.
( Here's what happened. It's pretty long, though. The whole ordeal was actually a good 2 hours long. @.@ )
It was the greatest thing ever, and I wanna go again. ^^ I was kind of angry with myself for not seeing the hole named Respect... I would've known that one held the scepter after reading that note in the room before. But oh well, I still got the experience points just for reaching the last room, so I'm still happy. ^^ I'm really looking forward to the next GenCon so I can run around in True Dungeon again. :D
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angel__heart's journal
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